Sometimes it feels like someone, or some powerful force keeps testing me. Making me doubt myself and ask the question..is it me? I have felt so disappointed the past few days, I guess disappointed is the best word to describe it. I thought that this time it would be different, that it would count. I guess not. And now I'm stuck in that awful limbo of wanting to reach out and ask 'why?' but not wanting to lose my pride, and back down. I guess this too will pass and I will look back on this all and know that it was not meant to be and that my heart, oh you silly thing, tricked me into believing in something that was never actually going to be exceptional.
But at the same time I will not give up. Love exists and it can be mad and passionate and inconvenient and simple and easy and hard and sad and fun and a million other things...call me silly, or naive or a girl or pathetic or whatever you want, I will keep the faith but I will also take time now to focus on myself and learn how to be alone, do the things I love and surround myself with the people who believe in me and what I am doing. And anyone who doesn't get that...well I guess they're not who I want to be around.
Bisous.
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