Well…I'd like to say I have a wonderful excuse as to why I have not been more active on here, but I kinda don't, so shall I just say I'm sorry and we can start again?
New Years (I know, it's already the 17th of the month) - the time when resolutions are set and are not always met (guilty as charged). Last year I had such huge plans to make 2013 my year, the year, but it never really happened. Life was busy and not always fun and I guess I let it all get on top of me.
Not to say that there weren't great things happening; I graduated, I travelled to see family at the end of the year, I started learning how to love myself again (an ongoing process, but you have to start somewhere..), I realised just how jaw-dropingly amazing my friends are (and it was mainly through the small things) and I met some incredible new people who have literally changed my life.
So moving into 2014 I'm not going to set a mile-long list of resolutions but I will take control again; graduating is really hard. Forget about the exams and dissertation and the long nights and hard work; I'm talking about finishing a chapter of your life.
Since I entered high school I've been focussed on my education and making choices that will get me to the next step of improving, bettering myself. Then you graduate and it's over; no more class, no more high school, no more exams, no more university. So now what?
What do I want to do with my life? How do I learn to live without that structure and that goal in my mind? I don't really think I know yet what I want to replace the education, that has been such an important part of life, with. And this lack of focus is such an alien concept to me.
I've always had a plan, always known where I was going next and now I don't. I always tell my girl friends that I want a 'man with a plan'; but how can I expect that when I don't have one myself? People keep saying I need to relax and go with the flow, but I reckon it's time to get myself together and remember those big, wonderful dreams I had.
What lies ahead? I wish I knew, or at least had a sign of what was to come. But what ever happens I know that this year will be mine for the taking.
Life is too short to be anything but happy, and it's hard to always do that, and it's scary how quickly it all gets on top of you but I will push through and I will remember what I set out to achieve. I will spend more time with friends, I will stay in touch with family who are far away, I will love myself and I will be ok.
Bisous.
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